The Story of a Slayer
by Wicked Willow
Summary: Buffy is dying and her friends come up with a very unorthodox way to save her.
1. introduction

Disclaimer: All the characters belong to Joss Whedon. I don't own them, so don't sue me.  
  
Summery: Buffy is dying and the group comes up with a very unorthodox way to save her.  
  
Authors note: This fan fiction is written mostly from Buffy's pov as she writes in her diary. Some chapters are from Willow's pov and will be so designated. Everything else is Buffy.  
  
  
  
***Introduction*** (Willows pov)  
  
Spike. He was the one that started all of this. It's a long story, not meant to be told here. All I'll say is what is pertinent to this story. A year or so ago, Spike's chip malfunctioned. Buffy had just come back from the dead when he hit her without feeling pain. We thought that it was just Buffy that he could hit, but then the chip failed for good. To make this long story short, Angel came to help us and we decided to try to curse Spike with his soul. It worked. That's how he started all of this… well, you'll see. 


	2. April 8

***April 8***  
  
I'm dying. I can't even go out quick like Slayers are supposed to. The same cancer that killed my mom is killing me from the inside out. I figured that my Slayer strength would kill the cancer off, but I guess I was wrong. When I contacted the Counsel, Travers told me that dying from natural causes is completely unprecedented for a Slayer. I'm just setting standards all over the place!  
  
I haven't told any of my friends yet. I wanted to be sure that there was nothing the Doctors or Watchers could do before I told them. Willow will want to do a spell to try and cure me, but she's been clean from magic for a while now. And what about Dawn… 


	3. April 11

***April 11***  
  
They didn't take it well. Willow and Xander just sat, looking stunned while Dawn ran to her room crying. We called Giles and he should be here tomorrow. I tried to find Spike, but he's been keeping to himself ever since Willow cursed him. The only one left to tell is Angel.  
  
We had always accepted the fact that I would die. Now that we are broken up, that shouldn't even really matter. I keep telling myself that, but I can't make myself believe it. I never expected that I would end up dying slowly and painfully, with my friends and family looking on… I don't think I can do that. I watched my mom die of this, I don't want Angel to have to watch me. I know he's seen death before, heck, my death twice, but not like this. 


	4. April 12

***April 12***  
  
Giles got here today. I was expecting everything to be different, awkward. But it wasn't. He just hugged me and told me it would be all right, that we would figure something out. I believed him. The entire gang spent the afternoon at my house just hanging out, filling Giles in on all that had been happening the last year or so.  
  
Spike just stood in the corner. He won't talk to me. I guess he's still trying to adjust to having his soul back. To hear Angel tell it, he didn't have a very good soul to begin with, but he seems much better than the soulless demon we all had known.  
  
After everyone went home tonight and I got Giles and Dawn to bed I finally called Angel. I had to dial at least three times before I finally let the call go through.  
  
Cordilia answered the phone and I choked out that I needed to talk to Angel. When he got on the phone he knew immediately that something was wrong.  
  
"Buffy, what is it?" he asked, sounding more worried than I had ever heard him.  
  
"Angel… I… I need you. I need you to come," I told him, breaking down. I guess I figured he deserved to be told in person.  
  
"I'll be there in an hour. You hang on, ok Buffy?"  
  
"Ok. See ya soon" I answered. But he had already hung up, anxious to come to my aid. My knight in shinning armor through and through. 


	5. April 19

***April 19***  
  
So much has happened the last several days that I haven't had a chance to write anything in my diary. I decided that I need to write down what happens so Dawn can have something to remember be by when I'm gone. I left her with nothing last time and I'm not doing that again. Plus, there won't be any coming back this time…  
  
Anyway, by the time Angel showed up, I was asleep from crying so much, so he let me sleep. When I woke up, he was sleeping next to me. That started me crying again. We missed out on so much that normal couples have.  
  
My crying woke him up, and we talked. He was stunned. He told me that the one thing that I really needed protecting from was something that he had no control over. I think that if it hadn't been day he would have stomped off to go broad, or maybe cry. I swear to God he looked like he was going to cry right there, only he was trying to comfort me. We spent the entire morning just sitting on my bed, comforting each other.  
  
Finally I had to go. I was going to the doctor to see what could be done. Angel wanted to come, but there was that little sunlight problem. Giles did insist that he come with me, an offer that I gratefully accepted. Giles would know what all the doctor gibberish meant, I figured.  
  
It wasn't good gibberish. Giles told me later that the cancer was inoperable and chemo most likely wouldn't work. By the doctor's estimation, I have three to six months, but my Slayer strength might drag it out longer than that. Or so Giles says. He's the Slayer expert, after all.  
  
Today we had a big powwow. Everyone was there: Giles, Dawn, Willow, Xander, Anya, Tara (who's been around a lot more lately), the entire crew from L.A., including two people and a demon I had never met before. And of course, Angel and Spike. The living room was way more crowded than usual, but we needed all the brainpower we could muster. With Faith incarcerated for a long while yet, I was the only hope in controlling the world's demon population. Dying really wasn't an option for me right now.  
  
"Medical options aren't an option?" Xander asked. I saw Anya and Willow elbow him at the same time. That got a small smile. "Not really," Giles answered, our expert on the subject. "They may delay the inevitable but would only serve to take Buffy out of the fight earlier." I felt Angel squeeze my shoulder, where his arm had been all night.  
  
"Turn her."  
  
The entire room grew silent as Spike told us all what he really thought. That boy just doesn't hold back! Before I had a chance to react, Angel had jumped up, grabbed Spike and proceeded to pound him into the wall. It took all of my strength to tear Angel off of him before any more damage was done — to the house, that is. Even though Spike and I had had that "fling" a while back, I was mad enough to stake him. That "fling" was probably why Angel was that mad in the first place. It would be just like Angel to see that suggestion as an invitation from Spike. Wait, why am I defending that guy?  
  
"Explain yourself," Angel demanded through clenched teeth. Spike picked himself up from the floor and did. "All the bloody medicine in the world isn't going to cure her. If she's turned, that'll cure her."  
  
"That's a good plan," I said with extreme sarcasm. "Not only will I rid myself of cancer, I'll also get rid of that pesky soul and all need for mirrors or a diet plan." My outburst didn't seem to faze him. It seems he did quite a bit of thinking about this. "You turn the Slayer, then have Willow or her little "friend" curse you with a damn soul before you go eat any body. 'Course, that way you have no fun, but you also don't have to live with a guilty conscience forever." With that he turned and walked out.  
  
Nothing much was discussed after that. Sure, there was lots of talking, but nothing was really said. Angel still looked furious, but sensed that he needed to stay with me. He was right. My entire inside felt on fire. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't thinking – even considering – Spike's idea. It could work. Plus, I could live forever with Angel. What was wrong with thinking? 


	6. May 3

***May 3***  
  
The last two weeks have been hectic all around. I haven't mentioned it to the others, but the more I patrol, the weaker I get. Just in little pieces, but weaker nonetheless. Angel has noticed, I know he has, but he hasn't said anything. All he's done is started to patrol with me.  
  
Everything at home has been strained. Only Dawn has actually asked me if I was actually considering letting Angel turn me. I truthfully told her that I was considering it, but I was going to hold out as long as I could before I decided for sure. I think Dawn wants me to go for it. Everyone else is sort of tiptoeing around the subject.  
  
The way that I've been thinking about it that Angel turning me is on the top of our list of two plans. The other is for me to die. I don't like that idea as well. Technically, being turned is also dying, but if I had my soul, that would be different. Well, a little different.  
  
I seriously don't know if Angel would turn me. I know that he has to be thinking about it as much, if not more, than I am. But he knows that this is a decision that I have to make. Actually considering being turned is scary. I mean, what if when we did it, I was too weak to come back, or what if Tara (we decided that if this was going to happen, Tara should do the spell, not Willow) wasn't able to do the spell right away, or at all even. Then my friends and family would have to kill me themselves! Not a pleasant idea. I need to decide soon though. The cancer is making me weaker… 


	7. May 4

***May 4***  
  
Travers called today. He was surprised when Giles answered the phone. I was still in bed. I've been sleeping later and later, though no one has mentioned it yet. It seems that the Counsel wants me to keep a detailed account of my sickness, and my emotional state, for as long as I am able to. Of course, Giles didn't tell Travers what we were planning. So, I'll just have to keep a slightly more detailed diary from now on. Although I think the Counsel will probably burn it for heresy when they read it.  
  
When Angel and I patrolled earlier tonight, we finally talked. He told me that he had thought about turning me before now, but never really as a plan. I admitted to him that I was seriously considering having him turn me. That I didn't think I could leave everyone again. Ok, yeah, I'd never be able to sunbathe or check my outfit in the mirror, but I'd be able to stay with Angel forever, plus I could still protect Sunnydale. Angel seemed like he was going to tell me something just as a slime demon tackled me. Angel killed it in a matter of moments, but our conversation window had passed. Oh, well. Now he knows how I feel. Now I know how I feel. I decided right there to go ahead and have Angel turn me. 


	8. May 5

***May 5***  
  
Angel completely backed me up when I told the gang I wanted to be turned. It surprised everyone that he backed me up so much. After the initial shock receded, we started to talk tactics.  
  
Tara would perform the curse, with Willow and Giles as backup. The whole crew from L.A. had gone home a week ago after Cordilia had a vision. We decided to wait a couple of weeks until we were completely sure that Slayer strength wasn't going to kick in and beat this sucker. We even set the date I would be turned. June 1. I suppose everyone wanted to know exactly when the big day (or night, actually) would be. Also, as an extra, Willow is going to look for a way to anchor Angel's soul and to remove the happiness clause from my curse. That way, Angel and I can really be together. All that's left is a month of patrolling and the eternity.  
  
I feel relieved that everyone is making all the plans. I'm still anxious about the whole thing, about Dawn and Xander and everyone. I mean, in a month, I'll be living forever, while all my friends are going to get old and die. Well, at least I'll be around to see them grow old. Never thought I'd get to see that. 


	9. May 18

***May 18***  
  
I'm getting tired. The cancer shouldn't be spreading so fast, especially sense I'm the Slayer. I'm starting to wonder if I went so long from detection because of the Slayer strength. That might explain why the cancer is so far advanced. In the mean time, I'm getting more vulnerable.  
  
Everyone has been taking turns patrolling with me. I can't seem to make it through the whole night anymore. The oggilie-boggilies haven't realized yet that I'm weak. If we get really lucky, they won't.  
  
Everything is ready for the spell. We found another Orb of Thesila to trap my soul. Giles thinks that the best place to turn me is at Angel's mansion. Angel has been living there again ever sense he found out I was dying. The only time he leaves Sunnydale is when Cordilia had a vision.  
  
So, for the sake of posterity, here's the official plan. The night of May 31, everyone will go to the mansion. Just in case something goes wrong, I'll be chained up before Angel turns me. We want to be sure that I don't kill anyone before the curse me. Then the big moment will come and he'll turn me into a vampire. Tara already anchored Angel's soul and Willow figured out how to take the happiness clause out of my cures. That's about it. Tara will curse me and I'll live forever. With Angel. Always with Angel.  
  
I just hope that I can make it that long… 


	10. May 30

***May 30***  
  
Tomorrow night is the big night. I almost don't even care anymore. We spent the whole day at the beach today, Willow, Xander and I. Almost like old times. Except it wasn't. No one wanted to say anything, but we were all thinking it. Today was one of the last days I'll ever get to sunbathe. I gave up on mirrors about a week ago. It's too depressing to see myself like this.  
  
Giles is worried. He thinks that things are too quiet around Sunnydale. I'm just glad. Angel is the only one really patrolling. I've been having trouble getting out of bed some days. Tomorrow everyone is coming and we'll all spend the day together. I'm so tired. It seems like I don't have the strength to go on. Tomorrow can't come soon enough.  
  
I almost feel like I'm deserting everyone, though. Less desertion than if I was dead, but still. I don't want to die again, twice was enough. I'm going to spend the rest of their lives protecting them whenever I can.  
  
I'm going to write everyone letters, just because I can't shake the feeling that something isn't right. If Travers ever gets his hands on this journal, he's going to have a heart attack. But that's not the point anymore. This is more for my friends and family than some stuck-up Watchers Counsel in London. 


	11. May 31

***May 31***  
  
Well, this is it. In a few minuets it'll be over. We are at the mansion and everyone is just waiting for me. I've said my tearful goodbyes, even though I'm technically not leaving. I gave everyone their letters, so now we're all just taking a few moments to collect our thoughts. I can't deny it, I'm terrified. What if something happens? What if I never see my friends again? This is the most scarred I've ever been.  
  
I can see Giles going over the curse again with Tara, making sure everything is in order. Now he just gestured me over. I guess its show time… 


	12. June 12

***June 12*** (Willows pov)  
  
It's been almost two weeks and Buffy hasn't spoken more than a word to anyone. I'm writing now because this is still her story and it needs to be written down, even if she won't come near this journal. I read what she wrote and decided that it couldn't end here. So here's the rest.  
  
Everything did not go as planned with the turning and the curse. From what Giles was able to gather, the Counsel had Buffy's house watched. They discovered what we were planning and stopped us. The stopping involved… Oh God! This is hard for me; I can't imagine what Buffy must feel! They stopped us by shooting an arrow through Angel's heart. He's dead!  
  
I think Buffy blames herself. She couldn't save him, what with being chained up and all. I know she feels horrible. She's determined to go join Angel as soon as she can. But, the really sad thing is, I think she may be getting better. That long awaited Slayer-strength has finally kicked in. Now that she may live, I wonder if she'll even want to… 


	13. June 15

***June 15***  
  
I think I'm getting better. But I'll be gone before we know for sure. The thought of dying doesn't scare me anymore, in fact, I welcome it. Which is why I'm doing this. By the time anyone reads this, I'll be with Angel. I'll ask Spike to do it; if he won't, I'll find a vampire who will. I wish I could give Travers a very special present before I go, but I won't.  
  
Take care, you guys. I'll see you later. Please remember me as who I was, not who I became. I belong with Angel. I always have. I still love all of you, but my place now is with Angel. Always with Angel… 


	14. June 18

***June 18*** (Willow's pov)  
  
The funeral was today. Spike told us that he tried to stop her, but she knocked him out and left. Giles thinks that the next vamp she ran into was actually 3 or 4. In her condition she wouldn't have stood a chance, even if she had changed her mind.  
  
Mr. High-and-Mighty Travers showed up at the funeral to pay respects, and to collect her journal. You should have seen Giles when he broke Travers nose.  
  
We decided to keep Buffy's journal as sort of a tribute to her. I keep seeing her in a big field of flowers having a picnic with Angel and her mom. I know it sounds hokey, but I do. I hope that she is happy now. Finally at peace. Anyway, we're putting copies of the letters she wrote us in here.  
  
I guess that's it. The end of her story. The Story of a Slayer. 


	15. letters

***letters***  
  
These are the letters Buffy wrote us before she died.  
  
--Willow  
  
  
  
Willow,  
  
By now this letter is kind of unneeded. Tomorrow night will decide all, but I wanted to give you this as a final link. If everything goes as planned, you'll still be seeing me. But I can't help but think that nothing ever goes as planned for us.  
  
I just wanted to tell you that I love you. You're the best friend I could ever have wished for. I hope that you and Tara continue to work things out and live a wonderful life together. I'm so proud of you giving up magic. It helped us so much when we needed it, and now that we don't as much, it's great that you were able to give it up.  
  
I want to ask you a giant favor. You've always been there for me when I needed you, and I really need you now. Please watch out for Dawn. I worry about her so much. I know that she'll be safe with you. I probably didn't even need to ask. I'll just feel better knowing you'll be there when I can't.  
  
I need to go. I have to write everyone else before tomorrow night. This letter doesn't begin to tell you what I want to say. I owe you so much, Willow. I owe you Angel's soul, my life; soon I'll owe you so much more. I love you, girl. Say hey to Oz if you ever see him again. I hope this isn't really goodbye, but if so, I can only say I love you again.  
  
--Buffy  
  
  
  
Giles,  
  
There is so much that I want to say to you. You're that most important person in my life. My Watcher. My friend. The only father I ever really knew. There is so much I want to say and I don't know where to start. You were always there for me when I needed you, while I was gone so often when you needed me. I'm so sorry for that.  
  
I owe you so much. I would be dead years ago if not for you. I love you, Giles. I never knew anyone like you. Your stuffiness. Your ability to rattle off terms and demon names. One of a kind. I'll miss you.  
  
I know that deep down you don't want me to be turned. Thank you for not saying anything. For backing me up to the very end. Like always,  
  
Have a good life, Giles. Never loose hope. Remember that I love you. Always.  
  
--Buffy  
  
  
  
Dawn,  
  
Hey, hon., how are you? Ok, stupid question. I think that I'm going to miss you the most. I mean, come on, you're my sister. I've technically only lived three years with you, but I've known you forever. The love in my heart doesn't lie.  
  
I've asked Willow to watch out for you after tomorrow night. I want you to behave. Yeah, I know, always the bossy older sister. You're probably pissed at me, but don't be. I'll still be around, just not as much.  
  
I love you so much. I know that you never asked for this life, being a key and the sister to a Slayer. I want you top know that I'm proud of you. I don't show it as much as I should, but I am proud. I love you Dawn. I'll always be there to watch over you.  
  
--Buffy  
  
  
  
Xander,  
  
Where would I be today without you? You've always kept my feet on the ground. Without you, there would be no Scooby group. Your quick wit and humor have kept us going when things looked the darkest. Not to mention the endless supply of doughnuts. (Just kidding.)  
  
I want you to know how much I admire and respect you. Don't tell Anya, but under different circumstances, I would have been proud to go out with you. Don't I have the best timing for these revelations? But seriously, you're a great guy and Anya is lucky.  
  
I hope you and Anya have a great life together. Take care of yourself, ok? Promise me that you'll look out for everybody. And never, ever loose your spark for life.  
  
--Buffy  
  
***  
  
Well, that's it, folks. Please review, even just to tell me that it sucked and never to write again. I really want to know what you think. Thanks. 


End file.
